Changing one’s life might appear difficult at first, but embarking upon a journey that will lead to greater creativity is not as hard as it seems, according to two prominent life coaches. Contrary to what many believe, the process of changing things in life is actually very easy, according to Esra Banguoğlu and Aykut Oğut, two Turkish life coaches.
Oğut is the writer of the book “Evrenden Torplim Var” (The universe is my sugar mama), which has sold millions in Turkey and has been reissued 200 times and will soon hit shelves in an English version. The couple has been working together to help people to change their lives and make things easier for them.
Banguoğlu and Oğut’s secret lies in their approach to life. According to them, everything is about being aware. “The aim is to turn to yourself and be aware of yourself and discover yourself,” said Oğut during an interview. The question he asks is very simple: “Who is directing your life? Who is at the wheel, directing your life?” Not everyone knows this, the couple admits. The main issue is to change the point of view.
“In Turkey changing the point of view is perceived as
inconsistency and it is negative things,” said Oğut, adding that in order to be successful in life, one has to change one’s point of view and thoughts very often.
“In Turkey people are changing their point of view or approaches to the events when they fail and when they have no other choice,” he said, while noting that understanding that one needs to change one’s point of view is a process.
Such a process is not necessarily difficult, but can seem so at the outset, Oğut said. “Changing your point of view is not very easy but it is not hard either. Doing it for the first time might seem hard.”
Oğut said this was the key to changing aspects of one’s life and that it was all about dedication. “We have many friends that we work with. We give them weekly exercises and sometimes they do not do them. This means they are not dedicated.”
In order to make a difference in life, people have to open their mind. “This is emptying your limitations that come with dependencies and conditionings,” said Banguaoğlu. “As we empty ourselves from dependencies, it is possible to see other possibilities
Having a clear mind
In order to empty dependencies from one’s mind, one has to possess a clear and open mind, but people often go through life as if they are drunk, unaware of anything, said Oğut. “You may hit someone on the road and turn and say sorry, but that person might not even be aware that you hit him or her,” he said.Sometimes people begin to talk and never come to the point about what they want to say. “If you have no clarity, you will not have [creativity]. People say so many things and never say something clear. A clear mind means that you have the courage to choose,” he said.
When people do not understand what they are saying or are unaware of their words, then they might be unable to create anything, said Banguoğlu, noting that the most critical necessity at such a juncture is to hear oneself speaking.
Expressing oneself in the most simple way means possessing a simple and clear mind, according to the duo. A calm mind is a very important in altering one’s way and creating the life one wants.
A two-day workshop that the duo gives ends with a significant learning process. “We want the attendees to spend half an hour without speaking,” said Banguoğlu.People need to remain alone and create their own silence before they can find answers and results, they said. “When people are not in silence, even if you give them a very easy task, they cannot see this task as an easy one and also do not accept it,” she said.
The main thing is dedication and will, they said. “If there is a will there is a way,” Banguoğlu said, summing up the crux of the matter.
Esra and Aykut are developing a new website called ayrasehri.com, which will also have an English version and will provide people with information about the couple’s workshops.
Banguoğlu will also be providing new yoga workshops in the near future.